I'm So Lost Without You
by RasenShuriken445
Summary: When Naruto loses the one thing he loves more than ramen, he can't quite cope. Can our hero live without the love of his life, who died trying to save him?


**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Well, here we are again! I'd like to personally thank everyone that has ever supported me, especially my wonderful beta, xxSaphireBluexx. I truly couldnt have done this without you. Enjoy, and be sure to read some of my other stories! (There is actually a quote in here. If you point it out, a letter to Hogwarts will be given to you)**

"I don't care! I really don't! I just want out! I don't want to be a Shinobi anymore! I've seen enough! I've heard enough! LEAVE ME ALONE!" He roared, feeling like his throat was about to burst.  
"I know you care, Naruto." Tsunade spoke calmly. She had not moved a muscle or made a noise throughout Naruto's explosive outburst, even as he shattered every bottle of her "secret" stash of sake. "You care so much, you feel as though you'll bleed to death with the pain of it."  
"WHAT DO YOU KNOW, BAA-CHAN? YOU'RE AN OLD HAG WHO'S HAD EVERYTHING GIVEN TO HER THROUGHOUT HER PITIFUL LIFE! YOU DON'T GIVE TWO SHITS ABOUT MY PAIN!" He felt hot tears roll down his face as his throat swelled to twice its normal size.  
"That's enough! Talk to the Hokage like that again, and you'll be executed! Her funeral will be tomorrow! Leave my office! NOW!" She screamed in his face, her eyes also forming tears. She collapsed onto her desk, her head buried between her arms.  
"GLADLY!" He spat back, ripping open the door and slamming it behind him, breaking it into splinters.  
As Naruto walked back to his apartment, he was approached by many people who threw pity at him like they used to throw insults. The worst of the bunch was Kiba, his best friend.  
"Dude, I am so sorry!" He managed through heavy whimpering. Akamaru was licking his master's face in a desperate attempt to console him.  
"I DONT CARE ABOUT HER! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE! IT WAS NECESSARY THAT SHE DIED! SHE WAS JUST ANOTHER LIFE! THATS IT!" Naruto shouted into his face.  
Kiba looked up, his eyes contorted with fury, and screamed back,  
"I KNOW YOURE ANGRY, BUT I WILL NOT ALLOW YOU TO TALK ABOUT HER LIKE THAT! I LOVED HER LIKE A SISTER, SO SHUT YOUR GODDAMN MOUTH, CAUSE I KNOW YOU LOVED HER TOO!"  
"FUCK OFF!" Naruto sprinted off, rushing back to his apartment.  
He kicked the door open, breaking the lock, jumped onto his bed, and sobbed. He'd lost his closest friend in the world, and to an asshole like Nagato. He wailed as he let his sadness out, a small pool of tears forming on his pillow. He rose from his bed and struck the wall, putting a hole the size of a bookshelf through it. He descended into his thoughts, the only place where people wouldn't be throwing pity at him.  
Naruto looked at the Kyuubi as it destroyed mountains, villages, and entire miles of forest and yelled,  
"HOW CAN YOU BE HAVING SO MUCH FUN, YOU STUPID FOX?!" The Kyuubi stopped and turned around, looking for the source of the noise.  
"YEAH IT'S ME, YOUR MASTER!"  
"I'm sorry? I think I misheard?" The Kyuubi lazily said.  
"I SAID THAT IM YOUR MASTER! YOU SHOULD BE REFLECTING MY EMOTIO  
NS!" Naruto shouted at the top of his lungs.  
"Are you stupid?! I am the Nine-Tails! I haven't fallen so far that a little child could influence me! I am hatred incarnate!" The Kyuubi roared back, the sonic boom from his voice knocking Naruto down.  
"WELL I KNOW TRUE PAIN! IM TEN TIMES STRONGER THAN YOU JUST BY KNOWING THAT!"  
"You're beginning to sound like Pein, you damned fool!" The Kyuubi shot back.  
"WELL MAYBE HE WAS RIGHT!" Naruto roared.  
"Leave now, before you say something you'll regret!"  
"WHY WONT ANYONE LISTEN TO ME!" Naruto screamed as he came back to reality. He took off his jacket and walked out the hole where his door used to be.  
Naruto walked at a brisk pace as strolled to Training Ground Three. Along the way, he stopped and stole a bottle of sake from a vendor. At the Training Ground, Naruto punched a tree, breaking it into two and sending the top half across the field before sitting down and taking a swig of sake. He admired the burning sensation at the back of his throat as he downed half of the bottle. Beginning to feel woozy, he stood up and once again punched a tree, destroying it.  
"Naruto-kun, what are you doing?" A familiar voice rang through the clearing. Naruto turned around to see Sakura running toward him.  
"FUCK OFF, DUMB BITCH!" He screamed in her direction.  
"EXCUSE ME? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY!" Sakura threw on a look of absolute rage.  
"WHAT DO YOU THINK I SAID, WHORE?" He spat. Sakura raised her fist to punch him, but he caught her wrist and twisted it before throwing her.  
"WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?" She sobbed, healing her broken wrist.  
"I LOST THE WOMAN I LOVED! AT LEAST YOU GOT THAT TEME SASUKE BACK! I HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS! I FINALLY UNDERSTAND WHAT NAGATO WAS TRYING TO SAY BEFORE I KILLED HIM!" He felt like his body was on fire as he thought about her.  
"YOU SOUND LIKE A MADMAN! JUST LIKE NAGATO!"  
"DO I? PAIN IS ALL IVE HAD MY ENTIRE LIFE! ANYONE THAT I EVEN REMOTELY ADMIRED EITHER HATES ME OR IS ROTTING SIX FEET UNDER! MY PARENTS: DEAD, ERO-SENNIN: DEAD, ZABUZA-SAN AND HAKU-KUN: DEAD, THE THIRD: DEAD, HINATA-CHAN..." He couldn't finish the sentence. He collapsed onto his knees and sobbed, falling over and hitting the ground.  
"I'm so sorry, Naruto-kun." Sakura sighed as she hugged Naruto, who pressed his face into her stomach. Rain began to fall, as if Mother Nature too felt his sorrow.  
After fifteen minutes, Sakura stood up and sighed, "Come on, dobe, let's go home." She lifted him onto his feet, holding him up as he sobbed uncontrollably, and walked him back to his apartment. She helped him into bed, leaving him with one final thought, "Do you think she'd want this?" Her words made him sob even harder. Before long, he ran out of tears to cry and fell asleep, where his dreams were worse than reality.

Naruto watched as his young self and a little girl with navy blue hair and a cream and purple colored jacket played tag on a hilltop outside of her house. The little girl was much too fast for Naruto, leaving him in the dust whenever he dived to tag her. After a while, Naruto lost interest in the game and sat down, facing the setting sun. The girl followed, sitting right next to him.  
"You know, Hinata-chan, I really like spending time with you." He extended his pinky, smiling. She followed the motion, confused. "Promise me we'll always be together?" He linked his pinky with her own. She smiled and replied,  
"I promise!"

Naruto woke up to someone shaking him.  
"Come on, buddy, we're going to her funeral. Throw on a tux." Kiba muttered as he walked out of Naruto's fixed door. Naruto extended his pinky, pretending to intertwine with someone else's.  
"You broke your promise." He whispered, trying to imagine her still with him.

At the funeral, which took place in the Konoha Cemetery, Tsunade walked up to the podium to begin.  
"Good morning. We are gathered here today to celebrate the end of the Fourth Great Shinobi World War, and to mourn the losses of our fallen comrades. Most of all, I would like you all to send your prayers to three people. First, Obito Uchiha, who, even in the face of death, apologized to the world and performed a Self-Destruction Jutsu, killing well over half of his men. Second, Asuma Sarutobi, who served as a beacon of hope for all. Last, but most definitely not least, H-H-Hinata Hyūga, who died saving Naruto Uzumaki from the leader of the Akatsuki. Naruto went on to rid the world of the organization, thus making it a better place for future generations. I invite you all to come forth and lay anything dedicated to these individuals upon their grave." Tsunade announced, choking on Hinata's name. The people organized into a single file line and walked to the grave, setting flowers and other objects near the tombstone. When Kiba got up, he set the kunai he threw at Hinata when he first met her down. When Kurenai came up, she placed her wedding ring on the grave. When Shino walked up, he removed his glasses and set them on the grave, saying,  
"Hinata-chan, you made me see the brightness in the world. Thank you." He left, tears streaming down his face, leaving Naruto up next. Naruto slowly walked to the grave and set his hand on it, removing a small drawing he'd made when he was six, depicting he and Hinata in a big house with a rainbow in the background. Teardrops hit the paper as he set it down and walked away.  
The last person to go was Kakashi, who had a look of solemnity on his face, as well as an eyepatch instead of a mask, which Naruto found odd. He carried a small box no wider than three inches across and set it on the grave, whispering,  
"This belonged to you, old friend. Thank you." He walked away, not a tear on his face, and blended into the crowd.  
While everybody went home with their families, Naruto set course for a bar, a hankering for liquor fresh on his mind. He found a quaint joint called "Hummingbird" and walked in. There weren't many people, so he walked straight up to the bartender and asked for twelve bottles of sake.  
"Aren't you a little young to be drinking?" The bartender asked in a deep voice.  
"Aren't you a little stupid to be questioning Naruto Uzumaki?" Naruto growled.  
"Okay. Okay. Geez." The bartender sighed, handing Naruto a crate full of sake. Subsequent to paying, Naruto stomped out and walked back to his apartment, picking up a large tub of cookie dough ice cream, Hinata's favorite flavor, along the way.  
At home, Naruto sat in his bed, downing copious amounts of liquor in one swig and consuming pounds upon pounds of ice cream while thinking about Hinata. As he finished his sixth bottle of sake, he heard somebody walk into his home, but was too lazy to do anything about it. He watched as Sakura walked into his room and gasped.  
"Naruto-kun, what are you doing?" She asked, picking up empty bottles of sake.  
"Plotting how I'm gonna kill myself." He breathed, finishing off his seventh bottle. Sakura dropped everything she had in her hands, glass bottles shattering on the floor.  
"YOU'RE WHAT?" She screamed, her youthful face drenched with warm tears.  
"You heard right. I'm gonna kill myself, I just don't know how." He muttered, shoving a spoonful of ice cream into his mouth.  
"NO. I KNOW YOU'RE SAD, BUT YOU HAVE SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR! DO YOU THINK HINATA-CHAN WOULD'VE WANTED THIS?" She roared, punching a hole into his wall.  
"She wanted to be with me forever. I'm gonna live up to that. We'll see each other in heaven, and it will be amazing." Naruto began to cry, washing his tears away with alcohol. Sakura put on a small smile and said,  
"You would never! You're too goddamn cocky! You wouldn't lay a finger on yourself if Sasuke-kun called it stupid." She laughed, her tears receding.  
"Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." He muttered, getting out of his bed and walking into the bathroom. He heard Sakura shout something incoherent before leaving his apartment, slamming the door behind her. He downed his eighth bottle in one last gulp before he looked into his mirror and sobbed, watching as his features swelled. He raised his fist and punched his mirror, shattering the glass. He retracted his blood-soaked hand and removed a kunai from his bathroom drawer. He gripped the cold, dense steel and held it against his throat. Seeing Hinata again was the only thing keeping him going. As he slowly dragged the blade against his neck, he whispered,  
"I'll see you in heaven, my love."


End file.
